Internalizing Your Failures

Insight: Approximate time reading this post: 4 minutes

As honest as my blog posts usually are, I would like this specific one to answer a few questions—not make excuses—and clear up my absence here on Mondays. I have had everyone and their mother (literally) ask about when my next blog post would be and this is a question I kind of despise answering. These few summer months have been different but friend-filled, transitionary, an experiment to see just how quick I can make decisions, and contained plenty of those five day work weeks. Don’t get me wrong, this in between community college and a university experience has been wonderful but in the midst I encountered a fair share of personal matters I wasn’t ready to share quite yet. So here they are now.

For this brief moment in life, I had an interesting amount of change that could headline something like “Heartbreak,” “Finances,” “Time,” and “Who Are You Again?” As these personal details consumed me, I didn’t think they were “pretty” enough to expose to my readers. I still don’t think it is necessary to write out all the nitty gritty details, but I am acknowledging right now that I am your typical human with my own human issues. In the meantime, I lacked to post on HFM (obviously) and started to internalize the failure of being inconsistent.

As much as I love writing and the realizations that seem to come with it, it's important to take a break from the things you love. That way you don't start to hate them over time when partaking too much; I find moderation increasingly important. I started to dread Mondays because that meant I had to crank out an uncertain blog post and sometimes when I didn't it felt like a failure. That is actually the complete opposite purpose of my blog, so how can I tell people to have hope and love for Mondays when I myself started to dread them just as much? This realization started to speak for itself when I read a quote by French poet and novelist, Guillame Apollinaire, “Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.” In this pursuit, I do apologize for taking too long of a blogging hiatus, but I will not apologize for taking a hiatus in the first place.

An interesting friend I met through the Business of Fashion club at ASU, Audree Lopez, recently posted on her blog “Simply Audree Kate” (click her blog name to reach the link) about creating and recreating her identity in a lifestyle that she was constantly told she should feel “lucky” for. Her post today really gave me the little push I needed to start being honest and just talk about this already. I applaud her courage to reveal that the life one leads on social media is only about 40% of what is actually happening behind our glowing screens. This became a recurring theme this summer as I watched friends engage in internships 10,000 miles away or other AZ Instagrammers express that what you see is never quite the same sight of being in front of the camera.

So now I would like this to be the last time that I blog about why I'm not blogging. I can now feel comfortable with my goal of posting on HFM when I can and when I want to. Also, for the reason that my readers and I have an understanding that even when I'm not posting on Mondays that doesn't mean I have given up on the beginning of the week. But sometimes it takes time to get your thoughts together. I want a quality blog and if I keep forcing myself to write it won’t be. I hope this bit of honesty was refreshing and that you had an excellent Monday. Feel free to click the links below for some articles, songs, and other tidbits of life I am currently enjoying.

Neat things to click:

 

Make Your Summer Worthwhile (on a budget)

Fashion and Lifestyle: Approximate time reading this post: 3 minutes

OMG, a brand new blog post! It’s about time I start posting more regularly, especially now that my much needed summer vacation has finally arrived. I am working on having an easygoing next few months full of sleepful nights, simple entertainment, seeing as many of my lovely friends as possible, all in laid back outfits and on a college student budget.

In this part-fashion post, I am pictured outside the Hinkley’s Lighting Factory on Central in front of their beautiful hedge. To transition into summer, my go-to ensembles have consisted of lightly distressed jeans, plain but funky t-shirts, and plenty of jewelry as usual. I even decided to accessorize with an “OMG” temporary tattoo. Chokers and glittery 24-hour tattoos are all making a very 90’s comeback and I am definitely not complaining. See my “outfit details” for more information on what I am wearing and where to find my pieces, if not something similar!

Now, keep reading for some bright ideas on how to make your summer worthwhile on a college student's budget:

  • Accessorize with temporary tattoos.

  • Make your best friend a playlist and listen to it together.

  • Spend your summer single and be happy with it (i.e. not spending money on dates OR PLOT TWIST: use these awesome ideas for your dates with someone special).

  • Go to the Phoenix Art Museum: FREE for MCCD students with their student ID or get a summer membership for only a $30 flat fee. 

    • Also visit the Scottsdale Museum of Contemporary Art (SMoCA) which is much, much smaller than the Phoenix Art Museum but it is still fantastic. Bring your student ID and get in for $5 or visit on their free admission days at a certain time.

  • Start a book club

  • Join your friends on their lunch break at work.

  • Rent as many movies as you can from your city public library F-R-E-E (with a library card which is free too) and throw an all nighter.

  • First Friday's: before it gets too crazy hot, only have to spend money on possible souvenirs and food which can be like $3 for a delicious street hot dog.

  • Hike or kayak: spend money on the gas and proper equipment (or borrow from a friend!)

  • Use your discounts (sign up for your favorite restaurant's emailing list to receive summer specials) and watch out for freebies (tenth purchase at Press Coffee Roasters is free!!)

  • Plan a photo shoot and take your photographer out to lunch for the pics.

  • Potluck dinner with friends and/or family for one awesome meal.

  • Start a blog ;)

Photos by: Claire Goldberg

Photos by: Claire Goldberg

Outfit Details: mustard tee (Forever 21), dark jeans (ANGL), booties (Forever 21), navy purse (Ross-Steve Madden), choker and assorted necklaces (ANGL), gold stacked bracelets (Wanderlust + Co.), black sunglasses (TJ MAXX- Guess), temporary tattoos (Paper Source from little party poppers).

Happy Thursday blog readers, life-doers, summer vacationers, and friends!!! 

A Moment of Transition

Insight: Approximate time reading this post: 6 minutes

I’m just sitting here on a Sunday night trying to think of a way to start this post about something I never really wanted to end. As much as I have exasperated talking about my experience at PVCC, it is still difficult to find the words but also find few words to talk about how much that college really means to me. To find a happy middle, here’s a song Claire recently shared with me that is quite different from what I have heard before and a graduation speech I wrote this year.

This song, “Introduction: Nothingness” by Hayden Calnin, is eye opening when it comes to understanding change, transitions, and a few other normal aspects of life that seem anything but. It explains in the most vague way my thoughts on these past three years coming to an end, but a happy end. Give it a listen, full blast, anywhere quiet, both headphones in, every word; it won’t disappoint.

As always, thanks for reading and listening, I hope you enjoy my speech titled “Beyond the Judgement,” happy graduation and happy change to everyone who is doing something a little different with their lives at the moment (keep reading).

  Beyond the Judgement

I would say that three years ago, I was probably the last student anyone ever expected at Shadow Mountain High School to audition as a speaker on the night of my 2013 graduation. I was shy but observant and a loyal geek in the marching band, so I never attempted to stick out like a sore thumb. But after writing a required AP English commencement speech in a final Senior project, I decided to audition with it. Unfortunately, I was not picked to speak on the night of graduation and the judges later revealed this was only because they were uncertain of my "lacking stage presence”. Instead they judged me on my appearance and quiet demeanor rather than the content of my words; still shooting me while I've been down for the past four years in the emotional roller coaster of high school. But all is forgiven because this is a slightly bigger crowd anyways.

So tonight I would like to thank you first for this opportunity, second for believing in the value of our education, and third for all of the graduates here tonight in pushing their personal boundaries of self-growth and in their dedication to better the world we live in.

After four years of integrating with my close-knit, high school marching band friends, I needed to find a new sanctuary here at PVCC and fast. For my first two months at this college I contemplated dropping out of school entirely because I felt such a deep disconnection and without much effort, might I admit. But it didn’t take long for me to realize just how much learning outside the classroom could impact my education. I soon stumbled upon the student leadership program and joined the Student Government, maintaining my position as their secretary for the next two years. While in student leadership, we changed the title of the “Student Leadership Council” to “Student Government”, organized and hosted countless events, updated multiple parts of our program in general, and set our students as a top priority.  In the meantime, I also wrote articles regarding campus life in my year-long editorship for the Puma Press, maintained a part-time job, attempted a social life, and took over 16 college credits each semester. Here I also found out just how imperative it is to do more with less along with the price you pay for being involved. In this period of my life I had my fair share of memorable mental breakdowns, as I am sure many of you have experienced yourselves.

But through the many opportunities that this college is basically throwing at you with full force, it is of the utmost importance to never take them with a grain of salt. I can say that I am undoubtedly grateful for the opportunities that the Student Life and Leadership office offered me while I searched for a new community to call my own. I have become the best version of my young 21-year-old self and I give PVCC full credit for this.

But as much as I can stand up here and talk about my own fulfilled life at PVCC, this isn't just about me, it's about this whole community. Last time I checked, we are not sitting here on a Friday night, in our caps and gowns, to hear me talk about myself. And with this in mind, I’ve realized that our community college does not exist to only cater the individual but to teach the individual how to positively cater to their community.

Unlike my high school judges, I have learned to not only see you as fellow classmates, but human beings struggling with more than just your next exam.  I've watched as many of you endure the endless academic stress, heartbreak, mental breakdowns, financial struggles and that feeling of "if I just sleep in a little longer I will be late for class, but I can get through this day and possibly statistics". But to see you all here on the night of commencement and having overcome every possible obstacle that whispered the word “defeat” throughout your college experience, I can say that I'm truly proud of all of you.

Now that you have come this far, go show your judges why they were wrong about you, Congratulations Paradise Valley Community College class of 2016.